A Response to the statement “I was spanked and I turned out fine.”
In Conscious Parenting we are generally aiming for more than fine.
As an adult I am also fine, in fact I’m awesome!
And
I’m deeply wounded inside.
I have anger and intimacy issues.
I have belonging and self-esteem issues.
These issues keep me from reaching my potential.
They keep me from the kind of expression I yearn for in my life.
They limit the depth of the intimacy and connection I can have in my relationships.
I do not know a single adult that doesn’t have some of these issues
I know many that are in denial about them,
but they wear their wounds like a banner for all to see!
I prefer to do what I can to minimize those effects in my daughter.
This is why I choose the most gentle, connected and conscious path I am able.
I am not perfect.
I make mistakes every day.
I am often not gentle, not conscious and less connected than I’d prefer.
The results of my own wounds.
This is why I analyze my interactions with my daughter daily.
I admit my mistakes. I apologize and try and learn from them.
We ALL make mistakes and when we question them and learn from them we are doing the best we can by our kids.
I also engage in vigorous self-healing work.
Learning to love myself and accept myself more every day.
Showering Little Vivek with love so he learns how worthy he is.
For that is the best way I know not to pass along the errors of my predecessors.
And ensure that my kiddo grows up to be more than fine!